Bea Cannon
Follow me on Twitter
My TweetsMeta
-
Recent Posts
- Review of The Needs of the Many by Christina McMullen Tuesday,November 26, 2019
- Spider, Spider – A Free Short Story for Halloween Saturday,October 19, 2019
- Smashwords Summer/Winter Sale 2019! Tuesday,July 9, 2019
- Released – Turner: New Era (Book 6 of Spaceships and Magic) Wednesday,June 12, 2019
- Review of The Princess Rebellion by Christina McMullen Tuesday,May 14, 2019
- Review of Magic’s Perdition by Melissa Jensen Friday,May 10, 2019
- Turner: New Era – Book 6 of Spaceships and Magic – Coming 6/12/19! Tuesday,April 16, 2019
- New: Amina – A Short Story Thursday,April 4, 2019
- New: Amina – A Short Story Thursday,April 4, 2019
- New! “Tomato Dreams” a paranormal short story by Bea Cannon Tuesday,March 19, 2019
FREE at Amazon "Boucher's World: Emergent" - What happens when a society of humans and aliens that have been trapped together inside an impenetrable dome on a world far from their home planets for two thousand years finally emerge? Will they learn the reason for their long imprisonment and be able to contact their home worlds?
Goodreads
Archives
- November 2019
- October 2019
- July 2019
- June 2019
- May 2019
- April 2019
- March 2019
- February 2019
- January 2019
- December 2018
- August 2018
- July 2018
- June 2018
- May 2018
- March 2018
- February 2018
- January 2018
- December 2017
- November 2017
- October 2017
- September 2017
- July 2017
- March 2017
- January 2017
- December 2016
- November 2016
- October 2016
- August 2016
- June 2016
- March 2016
- February 2016
- December 2015
- November 2015
- September 2015
- August 2015
- July 2015
- June 2015
- May 2015
- March 2015
- February 2015
- January 2015
- December 2014
- November 2014
- October 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- May 2014
- March 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- October 2013
- September 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
You know how that are. Or: Who wrote grammar check?
Is it just me, or has Microsoft Word’s grammar check gotten even more quirky lately? Like, gone around the bend, quirky? I mean, it has always done its best to get me to re-phrase everything, or change my tense when I didn’t want to, or – this is a favorite – it tells me I’ve got a fragmented sentence. Uh-huh, yeah, I know it’s a fragment. Dammit! I meant for it to be! Now, leave me the f…- uh – the flock alone! Damned thing would have every manuscript be a dry string of perfectly constructed crap.
It has always been good at telling me such things as, what I really meant was “her” instead of “she”( as in “Her ran up the stairs”) or it would tell me I meant “he” instead of “himself” (that would be “He scratched he on the rosebush”). Yesterday, though, it gave me a whole new perspective on contractions involving personal pronouns. This is my new all time favorite example of its insistence that I should change what I’ve written. It told me what I really wanted in my sentence was – and I swear to God this is true – it told me I wanted “me’m” instead of “I’m”. So. My sentence should have read, “Me’m going to load the dishwasher, now”.
Uh-huh. Who the hell wrote the grammar program? I wish I had thought to copy that one. I did show it to my daughters. After all, they came running,wanting to know just why I was rolling on the floor, howling myself silly (I know, I know, grammar check; that should be “howling me silly”. Hush). Of course, now neither of us can resist making that particular substitution in our speech, you know, just to see how it works. And, we’ve managed to come up with some others, too (such as we’m, it’m, you’m, etc. There’s more, just can’t remember them all right now). We’ve had some interesting conversations since then.
Okay, gotta get back to writing, so me’m finished with this post, now.
Share this:
Like this:
Related